


The Prince and the Pirate

by Hillbilly_Leprechaun



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dancing and Singing, Disney Parody, Disney References, Innocent Slash, M/M, Pirates, Storybook Castles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 19:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13530915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hillbilly_Leprechaun/pseuds/Hillbilly_Leprechaun
Summary: Captain Lester has his crew fetch him a beauty, but things don't necessarily go to plan. Made like a Disney movie, with song breaks.





	The Prince and the Pirate

 

Once upon a time, there was a very charming prince who lived in a glorious castle overlooking a mystical village. Prince Daniel is his name. He is to be betrothed to the sister kingdom’s Princess Louise the day he turns eighteen. He isn’t sure that’s what he wants, though. He has conflicted emotions regarding his arranged marriage. Princess Louise grew up in the countryside until her widowed father married her stepmother ten years ago. She is excited to marry Prince Daniel, so she can have power and control.

 

“The day is coming soon.” The prince’s long-time friend Bishop Pasquale questions as he walks into the upstairs ballroom.

 

“Yes.” Prince Daniel sighs, warily watching himself in the mirror. “The day to be tethered to the most obnoxious”

 

“Not a nice way of describing your future bride, Dan.” Pasquale smirks, walking out of the room.

 

Dan sighs, having no choice but to follow his best friend. The other races down the hall, nearly running into a maid with hot towels. Dan smiles politely and steps around her. The boys enter Dan’s master bedroom.

 

“How would _you_ describe her, PJ?”

 

“Not my problem.” He holds his hands in surrender. “ _I’m_ not marrying her.”

 

“You’re right. And neither am I.”

 

PJ raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Then what, pray tell, are you going to do?”

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 **Dan** : I’m gonna travel the seven seas and continents galore!

 

 **PJ** : Unfortunately, being a prince has much to account for

 

 **Dan** : I’ll no longer wear these tassels, or so many buttons on my clothes! No more frilly hairstyles, or expected songs to compose!

 

 **PJ** : That’s a rather unrealistic belief

 

 **Dan** : I just can’t wait to be free!

 

 **PJ (** speaking **):** This is a _kingdom_ , if you haven’t noticed. You’re about to get married. If you think…

 

 **Dan** : Perhaps _we’ll_ trek together

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

Dan removes the frilly costume design which decrees him as a prince. He runs into the hall, with PJ on his tail. Louise is in her bedroom in the sister kingdom. Her loyal subjects are fitting her for the ceremonial dress.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 **Louise (** while standing proper **):** Prince Daniel is my tether

 

 **Dan** : Or journey by horseback

 

 **Louise** : We match by zodiac

 

 **Dan** : We may, perchance, ride by Caribbean Sea

 

 **Louise** : Hand in hand, I’ll have a throne, and power over enemies

 

 **Dan** : What am I saying? She’ll come back for afternoon tea!

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Dan throws open the window at the end of the hall. He climbs out and steps onto the vineyard wall. PJ notices, and he instantly climbs onto the staircase banister to glide down. He stops between the levels only to catch Dan through the nearby window.

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 **Louise** : With Prince Daniel by my side, I’ll achieve my destiny!

 

 **Dan:** I need to be on my own

 

 **PJ** : That’ll take some time…

 

 **Dan** : Away from this kingdom’s zone!

 

 **PJ:** I think that you’re not listening. Have you got your head on straight?

 

 **Dan** : Straighter than the rest of me, but marriage makes me nauseate

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

PJ throws open the main doors. Dan is racing past the bridge to the village, and straight on toward the lake pier. PJ climbs atop the first post, but Dan continues.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

 **PJ:** What do you plan on doing, then? Where do you go from here? You’d have to cut all ties with the royalties, and the prince would disappear… (speaking) Honestly, you’re only seventeen

 

 **Dan:** But I just can’t wait to be free!

 

 **Dan:** I’m not the type for arranged marriages; I’m more the type to rob the carriages… if I can just break out of this shell, and leave this castle jail!

 

 **PJ:** You’re really going for it?

 

 **Dan:** Oh, I just can’t wait… Just can’t waaaaaaait… to be free!

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

There is a ship full of fishermen at the edge of the wharf. Dan sniffs the salty air. He’s never been this far from the castle without a personal subject of some sort around him. He’s lived a very sheltered life, and sometimes he’s just sick of it. He runs a hand through his long hair and pulls out a journal. He takes a seat at a post near the water and begins writing. Meanwhile, not far from the mainland, is a ship of pirates. The captain is a fearsome leader with jet black hair sweeping over one of his eyes. The tall man takes a swig of rum and places the flask onto his belt strap. His shipmates Joseph and Felix are standing in the lookout point, while the others are busy swabbing the deck. The captain stops just below lookout point and speaks up.

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 **Lester:** Ba-da ba ba-da bah...

 

Boys, let me tell you about women

 

They cook, and they clean

 

They’re great at storytelling, and they’re great for company

 

I need a brunette-haired beauty

 

Mm-mmm…

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

Joseph and Felix each grab a rope, sliding down to the deck. Captain Lester is already walking away, to the side of the ship. The boys look confused.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 **Joseph & Felix:** We don’t need no storytellers; no one to clean up

 

We don’t need no women aboard the ship, Captain

 

Don’t need cooks

 

Don’t need no brunette-haired beauties

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

Captain Lester marches up to them, hands behind his back. He narrows his eyes.

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 **Lester:** Are you undermining your captain on this important quest?

 

Are you sure arguing is truly best?

 

I’m not…

 

I need a brunette-haired beauty…

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

He marches around his two shipmates, as the others slowly move forward. The mops and brooms are set against the hooks along the walls.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

 **Lester:** No need to be moody

 

No need for shooting

 

This is your duty

 

Catch me a brunette-haired beauty

 

 

When we get to port, start looting

 

I need that beauty

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

The ship lands in port, and a lot of people race around the pier. The fishermen aboard the anchored ship dash away. Citizens from the village and the kingdom race around to find a place to hide. Prince Daniel hadn’t noticed until late, and he backs away slowly. Captain Lester holds his sword to the sky, smirking determinedly to his crew.

 

“Fetch me my brunette-haired beauty!”

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been wanting to write this since finding out the ‘princes’ Dan and Phil voiced were gorilla princes.
> 
> Can you tell which Disney songs were parodied?
> 
> Happy 31st birthday to AmazingPhil


End file.
